Everyone loves a good joke. And of all the jokes out there, I think that soccer jokes are some of the best!
What could be better than a combination of the sport you love and laughing and enjoying yourself?!
When you start looking around the internet, you soon find that there are so many different jokes out there, and it can feel impossible to know where to look for the best ones.
So, in this article, I’ve done the research and put together a list of the best soccer jokes I’ve heard and the best ones I found so you can simply read through and enjoy them all in one place.
The Benefit of Laughing and Joking With Others
And you should know that laughing together can even have serious benefits.
One way to promote group bonding and improve team spirit is by laughing together. And a large factor in any successful soccer team is a strong team spirit.
A team of players who are comfortable around each other can enjoy each other’s company and are far more likely to play well together.
So take a few of these jokes, tell them to your soccer friends, and get on with the serious business of laughing together!
You’ll all soon be rolling around in laughter.
Kid-Friendly Jokes
I’ve also made sure this list of jokes is suitable for kids and adults alike.
So check out the jokes below and enjoy a good few laughs!
50 Funniest Soccer Jokes
1.
What’s the best state to shop for a soccer uniform?
New Jersey!
2.
Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team?
Because she ran away from the ball!
3.
What is it called when a dinosaur gets a goal?
A dino-score!
4.
Which soccer player has the biggest cleats?
The one with the biggest feet!
5.
Why do soccer players do well in school?
They know how to use their heads!
6.
What runs around a soccer field but never moves?
A fence!
7.
My computer’s got the ‘Bad-Goalie Virus’.
It can’t save anything!
8.
What did the Bumble Bee forward say after getting a goal?
Hive scored!
9.
Why is a soccer stadium the coolest place to be?
Because it’s full of fans!
10.
What do soccer referees send during the holidays?
Yellow cards!
11.
You are locked inside a car with nothing but a soccer ball. How do you get out?
Unlock the door and pull the handle!
12.
What are successful forwards always trying to do?
Reach goals!
13.
Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet?
Because they can’t stop saving their work!
14.
Why can’t you play soccer with pigs?
They hog the ball!
15.
What lights up a soccer field at night?
A soccer match!
16.
Why are scrambled eggs like a losing soccer team?
Because they’ve both been beaten!
17.
How do soccer players stay cool during a game?
They stand near the fans!
18.
What’s the first reference to soccer in the Bible?
“And then Jesus went up for the cross”!
19.
Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?
So she could tie the score!
20.
Why is Cinderella so bad at soccer?
Because she had a pumpkin for a coach!
21.
When is a soccer player like a judge?
When he sits on the bench!
22.
What did Santa bring the naughty soccer announcer?
COOOOOAAAALLLLLL!!!!!
23.
What would you get if you crossed a soccer playerand the Invisible Man?
Soccer like no one has ever seen!
24.
What’s a soccer fan’s favorite lotion brand?
Olay, olay, olay, olay!
25.
How do birds cheer for their soccer team?
They egg them on!
26.
My brother plays soccer for a team called the Musketeers.
They’ve started the season well with three wins and a draw, all 4-1 and one 4 all!
27.
What tea do soccer players drink?
Penal-Tea!
28.
Did you hear about the soccer player who lived past 100?
He’s still alive and kicking!
29.
How do we know that soccer referees are happy?
Because they whistle while they work!
30.
What soccer team do sheep like?
Baaaaaaaaa-rcelona!
31.
Why didn’t the dog want to play soccer?
He was a boxer!
32.
I was playing soccer last week, and the referee said the penalty could only be taken if the ball was stationary.
So I swapped it for a pencil!
33.
Where do soccer players dance?
At a soccer ball!
34.
My son played soccer in the mud all day.
He was a little Messi!
35.
Why was the soccer player upset on their birthday?
They got a red card!
36.
What do you call a defender who just ate a big meal?
A fullback!
37.
What did the soccer coach do when the field became flooded?
He sent on his subs!
38.
Why did the soccer coach start a one-year-old on the team?
She was incredible at dribbling!
39.
What did the soccer player say to the flight attendant?
“Put me in coach”!
40.
Which soccer player keeps the field neat?
The sweeper!
41.
How did the soccer field end up as a triangle?
Somebody took a corner!
42.
Why didn’t the team want to play with a third ball?
It was an oddball!
43.
What did the referee say to the chicken who tripped a defender?
“Fowl!”
44.
What do you call a soccer team’s lunch in the park?
A kick-Nic!
45.
Why did the soccer ball quit the team?
It was tired of being kicked around!
46.
Where was the first World Cup held?
In the hands of the winners!
47.
Why does Annie like soccer?
She gets a kick out of it!
48.
Which player brings the goalposts and net home after each game?
The goal-keeper!
49.
How did the soccer field get all wet?
The players dribbled all over it!
50.
Why wasn’t the Nose on the soccer team?
It didn’t get picked!
Find out more
*If you enjoyed this article, check out the next post – 4 Reasons Why Soccer Players Walk out with Kids*
*And if you’re interested in finding out more about soccer, check out this post I recently did – A Simple and Easy to Understand Guide to the Rules of Soccer *
